it's not insomnia, no no. something...softer, more muted and less painful.
sleep confounds me with the way it addicts, and yet right now, it eludes me. maybe my body has revolted. maybe this is me saying in a vindictive whisper, "you don't own me".
difficult occurence, it is, because always I want it, always I love it, and always I am so happy to get it. Yet, somehow it upsets me that I need it. What a waste of precious hours.
So if I had all those hours back, what would I do?
My favorite thought: (...besides living out nonsensical dreams...)
just run around places at night, at the MIDDLE of it- When no one else is around, and you have large empty places with yellow and green lighting all to yourself.
I love large empty places that you know will be bustling, or were bustling, at a different time.
civilization at a pause, it seems- as if all the characters in a movie were removed from the plot to soon be rewritten, but the set still remains, and you are left there to enjoy the in-between of stories.
sleep is almost like a shallow death to me... where do you go? Once in a world with others, it lets you be alone.
actually, it's kinda the same as when you don't sleep.
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